In the spirit of community and shared discovery I’ve compiled a list of some of the hotwife related media that’s floating around.
Obviously the hotwife thing isn’t exactly widely known and certainly not to the point that it’s common in pop culture but there’s still some movies and books that explore the themes of non monogamy in a way that I think is interesting and a way to help spark conversation about the topic amongst couples. So I’ve tried to grab as many titles as I found to pertain to the hotwife thing, sexuality in marriage, alternative relationship styles and more. Hopefully it’s somewhat well rounded and can serve as a jumping off point to find and learn about even more of what’s out there.
If you’ve never read or watched a single title listed here then I hope this can serve as a resource for you in learning more or starting your own hotwife journey.
If you’ve seen/read any I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions. I think it could be really helpful to discuss and delve deeper into the themes and messages that resonate with you in whichever media you’ve consumed. It’s one thing to take in information from the media around us but it’s another to actually see how it resonates with people who actually live this lifestyle.
Movies: (click the title to find media on amazon)
Palm Swings: After moving to Palm Springs, a young married couple are surprised to learn that their neighbours are swingers.
You Me Her: Centers on a couple whose waning sex life and a sequence of surprising turns are about to take their relationship in a direction neither could have imagined.
Four of Hearts: A young couple in a sexual dry spell spice up their sex life by having a one-night stand with another couple.
Suburban Swingers Club: A young married couple make a huge mistake by agreeing to participate in a secret swingers’ party in their suburban neighbourhood, and soon both of them are being targeted by a jealous and homicidal neighbour.
Ten rules for sleeping around: By following 10 simple rules, hot 20-somethings Vince and Cameron, spice up their relationship by sleeping around. But when their straight laced friends get engaged, their relationship gets turned upside down! To put the rules to the test, they will go on the road to the Hamptons to crash the biggest party of the year where love triangles collide and off-the-wall mayhem ensues.
Sex/Life (netflix): A suburban wife and mother takes a fantasy-charged trip down memory lane that sets her present on a collision course with her wild-child past.
Swingtown: Affluent 1970s couple Susan and Bruce Miller move their family to a Chicago suburb, anticipating a new life of barbecues and kids on swings. When they meet new neighbors the Deckers, the Millers realize the kids aren’t the ones doing the swinging. As for former neighbors Janet and Roger Thompson, she’s shocked by what she witnesses when she visits Susan, but Roger is titillated by all this sexual freedom. It’s a soapy time capsule of an era marked by open marriage and women’s liberation.
Zebra Lounge: Wendy and Alan Barnet are bored with their suburban life. In order to spice up their marriage, they contact an attractive couple through a swingers magazine and meet them for a night of adventures. Afterwards, the couple insists on meeting again. This thriller explores the consequences of a couple’s decision to experiment with swinging, providing a suspenseful narrative that delves into the complexities of open marriages and the dangers of exploring unconventional desires.
The Swing of Things: A groom-to-be accidentally books his destination wedding and honeymoon at a hedonistic swingers resort in Jamaica.
4some: Two middle age couples are linked by more than just a lifelong friendship, they are linked by love. It’s just a matter of time before they have some explaining to do to their kids.
The Overnight: A seemingly innocent invitation to dinner turns into a night of seduction and temptation when two couples get together for an evening.
A Good Old Fashioned Orgy: A man decides to have a final party at his father’s house in the Hamptons before it is sold. But first, he must convince his friends to attend the party, and not be sidetracked by the attractive estate agent who is trying to sell the house.
Deep Water (Hulu): A well-to-do husband who allows his wife to have affairs in order to avoid a divorce becomes a prime suspect in the disappearance of her lovers.
5 to 7: A young writer (Anton Yelchin) begins an affair with an older woman (Bérénice Marlohe) from France whose open marriage to a diplomat (Lambert Wilson) dictates that they can meet only between the hours of 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.
3: A bisexual man (Devid Striesow) has affairs with both members (Sophie Rois, Sebastian Schipper) of a longtime couple who have lost their sexual spark.
We Don’t Belong Here: Directed by Peer Pedersen, this drama delves into the dynamics of a family grappling with secrets, including a mother who explores nonmonogamy.
Love: Directed by Gaspar Noé, this explicit romantic drama follows the tumultuous relationship between a man and a woman, exploring themes of jealousy, desire, and sexual exploration in an open relationship.
Kinsey: this biographical drama delves into the life of Alfred Kinsey, a pioneer in the study of human sexuality, touching upon his unconventional views on relationships and sexuality, offering insights into the evolution of societal attitudes towards open marriages and nonmonogamy.
Professor Marston and the Wonder Women: This biographical drama directed by Angela Robinson delves into the unconventional relationship between psychologist William Moulton Marston, his wife, and their mutual lover, shedding light on the origins of Wonder Woman and the dynamics of polyamorous connections.
Shortbus: this film explores the lives of several sexually diverse characters in New York City, including a couple exploring an open relationship, through interconnected narratives.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona: This film showcases the complexities of relationships as it follows two American women exploring romantic entanglements, including an open marriage scenario with a Spanish artist and his passionate ex-wife, providing insights into the dynamics of unconventional relationships.
Obviously there’s not many movies/shows that are solely focused on the hotwife dynamic and less so showing it in a positive light. I still think there’s value to be had in seeing the good, the bad, and the Hollywood manufactured drama. Sometimes we learn more by seeing how things go wrong than we do right so keep that in mind if you decide to watch any of these. In fact, one of my favorite movies is Unfaithful because I think it shows the hotwife thought process and feelings so well, unfortunately it’s about infidelity and it all goes tragically wrong but there’s still gems in there that I learned so much from. Since the selection out there isn’t vast I used a large umbrella to find content so these apply to non-monogamy (and alternative relationships) as a whole and hopefully will foster good natured discussion about what works and what doesn’t.
Books: (click the title to find media on amazon)
“More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory” by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert – This book offers guidance on navigating the complexities of polyamorous relationships, including communication, jealousy management, and ethical considerations. It provides practical advice for individuals and couples interested in exploring consensual non-monogamy.
“The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures” by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton – Often considered a classic in the field, this book promotes ethical non-monogamy and provides insights into communication, boundaries, and the emotional aspects of open relationships. It offers practical tips for individuals and couples seeking to embrace non-monogamous lifestyles.
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel – Esther Perel’s groundbreaking book challenges conventional views of love and desire within committed relationships. While not specifically focused on non-monogamy, it offers invaluable insights into maintaining passion and intimacy in long-term partnerships. Perel explores the delicate balance between closeness and autonomy, urging couples to prioritize communication and self-discovery to cultivate fulfilling and sustainable relationships, regardless of their chosen structure.
“Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships” by Tristan Taormino – This book explores various forms of non-monogamy, including polyamory, swinging, and open relationships. It offers practical advice on communication, negotiation, and boundary-setting, making it valuable for individuals and couples considering alternative relationship structures.
“Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships” by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá – This book challenges conventional views of human sexuality and relationships, arguing that monogamy is not our natural state. It explores the evolution of human sexuality and its implications for modern relationships, including non-monogamous arrangements.
Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples by Nena O’Neill and George O’Neill – This seminal book from the 1970s sparked widespread conversation about alternative relationship models. Nena and George O’Neill explore the concept of open marriage, advocating for transparent communication, emotional honesty, and consensual non-monogamy. While reflecting the cultural norms of its time, the book offers insights into renegotiating traditional relationship dynamics and embracing greater freedom and flexibility in intimate partnerships.
“The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity” by Esther Perel – Esther Perel examines the complex dynamics of infidelity and explores how non-monogamous relationships can arise from a variety of factors, including dissatisfaction, desire for novelty, or a quest for personal growth. She offers insights into navigating the challenges of infidelity and rebuilding trust in relationships.
“Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships” by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson – This book explores the spectrum of relationship styles, from traditional monogamy to polyamory and open relationships. It provides practical guidance for designing relationships that align with individual needs and values, including strategies for communication, boundary-setting, and conflict resolution.
“The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers” by Terry Gould – Terry Gould provides an in-depth exploration of the swinging subculture, drawing on interviews and firsthand observations to offer insights into the motivations, experiences, and challenges faced by swingers. The book examines the social, cultural, and psychological aspects of swinging, shedding light on this often misunderstood lifestyle.
“The Game Changer: A Memoir of Disruptive Love” by Franklin Veaux – Franklin Veaux shares his personal journey through various forms of non-monogamy, offering candid reflections and practical insights into ethical polyamory.
“Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships” by Meg-John Barker – Challenging traditional relationship norms, Meg-John Barker offers a holistic approach to navigating diverse forms of intimacy, including non-monogamous arrangements. This book provides practical tools and theoretical frameworks for individuals and couples seeking to create fulfilling and authentic relationships outside the confines of monogamy.
“Love in Abundance: A Counselor’s Advice on Open Relationships” by Kathy Labriola – Drawing on her experience as a counselor, Kathy Labriola provides compassionate guidance for individuals and couples navigating the complexities of open relationships. This book offers practical strategies for communication, boundary-setting, and managing emotions within non-monogamous dynamics.
“The Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love” by Dedeker Winston – Dedeker Winston offers an accessible guide to polyamory, sharing practical advice and personal anecdotes to help women explore and navigate polyamorous relationships. This book empowers readers to embrace their desires and navigate non-monogamous relationships with confidence and authenticity.
These books provide valuable insights and guidance for individuals and couples interested in exploring non-monogamous relationships, offering practical advice, theoretical perspectives, and personal narratives to support informed decision-making and healthy relationship dynamics.
Your insights, reflections, and interpretations are not only welcome but eagerly sought after. After all, who better to shed light on the multifaceted dynamics of the hotwife lifestyle than a diverse community of individuals with unique perspectives and experiences?
Also this isn’t by any means an exhaustive list and I haven’t watched and read every title here. I’m giving the title, the type of media and a short description of each, you’re welcomed and encouraged to build on that as I’m sure I missed a bit.
